We are having the time of our lives, there is no doubt about it. But there is also no doubt that this is one of the hardest things I have ever done... I run the risk of sounding whinging, sounding like I'm not loving it, sounding like a spoiled brat, but it is time to have a little vent...
There have been a whole stack of challenges already and we have only been here 2 weeks. Much of what you see is impossible to get used to. There is so much homelessness, not like in Melbourne where its mostly men who are few and far between, but on every street corner there are families, often with 4 or 5 children, living on cardboard boxes, or a mattress if they are lucky. It is devastating and I'm ashamed of the way I cross the street and pretend not to notice them, its heart breaking and I don't know how else to respond, I feel guilty and disgusted by the injustice of it all... Its the guilts of the rich I guess... and a clear reminder of how lucky we are in Australia, somehow many problems of the last year or two seem quite insignificant in retrospect, also the problems and the challenges that we are facing in the here and now. I had a mini tantrum a couple of days ago when we couldn't find the right place to catch the bus. This coincided with me walking past a young man about my age, whose friends were trying to revive him... I don't think they did.... I saw an ambulance and police there as we drove past on the bus that we managed to find....
It puts our problems into perspective, but somehow it doesn't make them easier to cope with. That we couldn't tell the man at the laundromat that we would prefer to pick up our clothes tomorrow morning, that there are no spoons in the hostel kitchen, that our plans for the next month have fallen through and we have to decide what to do... They still all make my guts rumble a little, make me a little bit angry that its so hard to do the simplest things.
Our spanish lessons are going well, though again I assumed that after a day or two I would be able to speak fluently, again, I was mistaken. Communication is something I have thought a lot about over the years, when working with kids who aren't able to communicate easily... But its never been me, I've never been the one who couldn't tell someone what I wan't, who couldn't explain that no we only want one bread roll and not two, and who couldn't understand when I was asked a simple question. The frustration builds each time I say the wrong word, or I don't understand what a shop keeper is asking me, or I want a healthy meal but can't read the menu to figure out what is what. I can begin to understand some of the tantrums and the aggression that I have seen... At least for me it isn't too hard to figure it out, I can get out my phrase book or translator, ask for a menu in english, mime and draw and describe.
Despite my negativity here in this post, we are having a great time, we are learning and seeing and being challenged which was the whole point of this trip. We are loving each others company and not tiring of each other at all and we are looking forward to all of the amazing things we will see.
So... after Monday the horizon is looking clear, we have no plans, no set destination, no one to welcome us anywhere.... It is unnerving and liberating at the same time. We both can't wait to get out of the city, breath some fresh air, see the horizon, though I expect the trouble we have been having communicating will be even more extreme if we head somewhere out of the way. The possibilities are endless, to Patagonia? To Iguassu Falls? To Mendoza? Cordoba? Rosaria? Even to Chili or Uruguay?
Where do you think we should go???
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